There's a story that's been going around lately about how I've become the office tramp. Now, it's not what you might think. A few weeks ago I was allowed to go down to D.C. to represent our company at a conference. I decided I needed a nice professional outfit to make a good impression, so Catherine helped me shop for one. I got a two piece skirt and bustier matching set with a nicely fitted black suit jacket. It looks pretty sharp, if I do say so myself. And the bustier is very high and doesn't even look much like a bustier. Anyway, I told my mother excitedly about my new clothes and how great it was all going to be, to which she replied from her end of the phone, "that sounds completely inappropriate for a business function." The disgust in her voice (probably from hearing the word "bustier") was apparent and my self-esteem took a bit of a blow. However, when I told Catherine about it, she burst out laughing that my mother thought I was a tramp for wearing what was by all means a conservative outfit.
Now I'm not one to flaunt what I've got or even wear anything remotely suggestive. At least, I wasn't until a few months ago when I started getting more confident about how I look and act. Wearing better fitting (and sometimes even a bit sexy!) clothes does wonders for how you feel about your body. When you feel good about how you look, it shows. I've had some issues with body image, but nothing too major. Anyway, I feel like learning to dance has helped me find a lot of confidence. I find I'm taking chances and by going out to salsa clubs, I'm meeting people and putting myself out there.
Which brings me to a completed goal (finally!) - goal number 22: Put Myself Out There. Something about social dancing used to make me very anxious and uncomfortable. If you've ever seen the film Marty, I was definitely Clara - all alone on the sidelines of the dance hall getting passed over by guys and not having enough guts to take the initiative. I never even went to my senior prom. But this new challenge to try a dance class helped me to get over that shyness. Imagine my surprise when all the guys in my class were also nervous and couldn't dance! I'm still a bit shy when I go to the salsa club, but even that's starting to change. And there's a lot to be said about pretending to be confident - about two months ago I met a guy there I really liked and with a lot of encouragement from my wing woman (Catherine), I got up the nerve to give him my email address. We have since started to hang out with other salsa folks and very recently have been on a few dates. I'm not about to spill my whole story here on a public forum, but what I really want to say is that at long last I feel good about myself. I have no idea if anything serious will happen or not, but that's not the point. The point is that I'm taking a chance again.
Another plausible title for this blog post would be "I Wish I Were in Love Again." I've always chuckled at the lyrics to that song, which talk about all the awful aspects of being in love, yet the singer nevertheless wishes to be in that place again. Here are some of the best lines: "The broken dates, the endless waits /The lovely loving and the hateful hates/The conversations with the flying plates - I Wish I Were in Love Again." During a phone call with a college friend of mine who is now in San Francisco, I told her about this conundrum. Taking a chance on love (ha! another Sinatra song title!) is really just opening up your heart to a whirl of emotions, like going from a merry-go-round to a roller coaster. But when it comes right down to it, I'd rather be on the roller coaster, plummeting blows and all. Because even when you go through all those endless waits and broken dates, it's the experience that makes it all worthwhile. I don't know now if it's been the salsa or the new clothes or even just meeting the right people at the right time, but that confidence I've been faking since January is finally starting to feel more genuine. I promise to keep getting out there taking all kinds of chances on life and on love, and for you, dear readers, I promise to report back. :-)
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Let's Face the Music and Dance
Celebrity Sightings, Random Acts of Elbow Violence, ABBA, Cupid, and oh yeah, Salsa Dancing
I can hardly believe six weeks ago Catherine and I launched this blog and pledged ourselves to 25 resolutions for 2011. This past Wednesday we were able to cross off the first goal on both of our lists. That’s right, we finished our first level salsa class! Tonight, our dance studio had an all-levels salsa night mixer. There was a lesson beforehand, followed by salsa, meregue, and cha-cha dancing (as well as something called “machato” or “machado” – we’re not really sure how to say it or spell it, and the closest thing I could find online is “maxixe”). The three hours of dancing marked the capstone of our learning so far and seemed like a good time to give you a bit of a taste for what we learned.
Well, before I finish that story, I should go off course a bit. Catherine and I have a game of spotting celebrity look-a-likes. I think it started when we were at the airport and thought we saw Sally Field. Today was an extraordinary day for celebrity sightings, quite possibly because I was in such a good mood. First, I saw Jimmy Stewart on the light rail. Then when we reached the dance studio, the instructor for the class looked like Liza Minnelli (and acted a bit like her – I thought she was going to break into song at one point). And finally one of the guys from our beginner’s class came and when I danced with him under all those colored lights and disco balls, he suddenly looked just like Robert Duvall. But I want to focus on the Liza look-a-like right now. She went very fast and kept stressing the lessons were for the intermediate class, which Catherine and I braved. I’m proud to say that for the most part, we kept up well. Sure, I had a few missteps and topples, but I was still learning. And then I had to practice with a partner whom I had never met before and, well, let’s just say I tried to do a spin and accidentally whomped him in the stomach with my elbow. And forearm. And probably some wrist too – it was so embarrassing! Luckily it must not have hurt or he felt sorry for me and my overflowing apologies, because he danced with me again later in the night too. Catherine also turned into a dance machine, having guy after guy ask her to dance. Afterward she said she was a regular “dancing queen” and you know what, I believed her. A lot of dancing is about confidence and release – having faith enough to let go and know you will be alright.
Earlier this week, I was talking to our friend Rachel, an avid swing-dancer, about how much I've been enjoying salsa. "It's a good way to let go," she said. "I mean, swing helps me give up control - you just have to follow." I found myself doing just that tonight. In fact, there were times when my dance partner would try to get me to do a complicated move several times in a row and on the last try, I just closed my eyes and stopped thinking. And it worked, no wayward elbows or tangled up wrists either! In fact, looking at it now, that’s really what I did in our usual weekly classes too. In the first few lessons, I kept trying to be in control. I wanted to make sure I didn't slip or take a wrong step. But as we went on, the more I let go and just trusted my lead, the better the dance went. I still had to know what I was doing and how to cover during a misstep, but it went much smoother. It was a great, liberating feeling – how wonderful to have enough confidence to let go!
Which brings me at last to my last point. I believe certain things (people, events, etc.) come into your life at certain times for a reason. Taking salsa recently has been a great way to dive into my 25 goals, and it’s also been a good way to loosen up those other white-knuckled grips of control I’ve had on my life. In case you are one of the very rare people out there who have yet to be bombarded by Cupid-themed advertisements everywhere for chocolates and diamonds and oyster dinners, let me tell you that Valentine’s Day is upon us. Technically, Monday is the big day, but everyone wants to celebrate Saturday - that's the purpose of Saturdays, after all. Now, I have been staunchly against Valentine's Day for the past few years. Not just because I’m still stuck in some rebellious phase, but because of some personal tragedies, none of which I should delve into on public cyberspace. Usually Valentine’s Day would render me useless; my time spent steeping in depression and isolation. But I digress. I've been very grumpy so far this week (par for the course), but my mood changed unexpectedly after salsa class ended Wednesday night. I logged onto my email after a dizzying last class (seriously, how many times in a row do you expect me to do an underarm twirl?) only to see more ads for Valentine's Day. I simply rolled my eyes and tried to ignore them. Then tonight I faced the same promotions as I got online, but this time something clicked. My mood change wasn’t just about finishing a goal. It was about letting go and having the self-confidence to find my way. If I'm ever going to relax and enjoy life again, I need to calm down a bit. Beating myself up about past failures and breakdowns isn't going to do any good in the present. I think I’m finding I have more confidence lately, in salsa and other areas too, and am starting to restore faith in myself. “Always keep your feet under you,” our instructor said tonight. Stay grounded, but keep moving. It’s hard to face those other 24 goals wondering if I’ll have courage enough to finish them all, but as salsa has taught me, I just need to face the music and dance.
Well, before I finish that story, I should go off course a bit. Catherine and I have a game of spotting celebrity look-a-likes. I think it started when we were at the airport and thought we saw Sally Field. Today was an extraordinary day for celebrity sightings, quite possibly because I was in such a good mood. First, I saw Jimmy Stewart on the light rail. Then when we reached the dance studio, the instructor for the class looked like Liza Minnelli (and acted a bit like her – I thought she was going to break into song at one point). And finally one of the guys from our beginner’s class came and when I danced with him under all those colored lights and disco balls, he suddenly looked just like Robert Duvall. But I want to focus on the Liza look-a-like right now. She went very fast and kept stressing the lessons were for the intermediate class, which Catherine and I braved. I’m proud to say that for the most part, we kept up well. Sure, I had a few missteps and topples, but I was still learning. And then I had to practice with a partner whom I had never met before and, well, let’s just say I tried to do a spin and accidentally whomped him in the stomach with my elbow. And forearm. And probably some wrist too – it was so embarrassing! Luckily it must not have hurt or he felt sorry for me and my overflowing apologies, because he danced with me again later in the night too. Catherine also turned into a dance machine, having guy after guy ask her to dance. Afterward she said she was a regular “dancing queen” and you know what, I believed her. A lot of dancing is about confidence and release – having faith enough to let go and know you will be alright.
Earlier this week, I was talking to our friend Rachel, an avid swing-dancer, about how much I've been enjoying salsa. "It's a good way to let go," she said. "I mean, swing helps me give up control - you just have to follow." I found myself doing just that tonight. In fact, there were times when my dance partner would try to get me to do a complicated move several times in a row and on the last try, I just closed my eyes and stopped thinking. And it worked, no wayward elbows or tangled up wrists either! In fact, looking at it now, that’s really what I did in our usual weekly classes too. In the first few lessons, I kept trying to be in control. I wanted to make sure I didn't slip or take a wrong step. But as we went on, the more I let go and just trusted my lead, the better the dance went. I still had to know what I was doing and how to cover during a misstep, but it went much smoother. It was a great, liberating feeling – how wonderful to have enough confidence to let go!
Which brings me at last to my last point. I believe certain things (people, events, etc.) come into your life at certain times for a reason. Taking salsa recently has been a great way to dive into my 25 goals, and it’s also been a good way to loosen up those other white-knuckled grips of control I’ve had on my life. In case you are one of the very rare people out there who have yet to be bombarded by Cupid-themed advertisements everywhere for chocolates and diamonds and oyster dinners, let me tell you that Valentine’s Day is upon us. Technically, Monday is the big day, but everyone wants to celebrate Saturday - that's the purpose of Saturdays, after all. Now, I have been staunchly against Valentine's Day for the past few years. Not just because I’m still stuck in some rebellious phase, but because of some personal tragedies, none of which I should delve into on public cyberspace. Usually Valentine’s Day would render me useless; my time spent steeping in depression and isolation. But I digress. I've been very grumpy so far this week (par for the course), but my mood changed unexpectedly after salsa class ended Wednesday night. I logged onto my email after a dizzying last class (seriously, how many times in a row do you expect me to do an underarm twirl?) only to see more ads for Valentine's Day. I simply rolled my eyes and tried to ignore them. Then tonight I faced the same promotions as I got online, but this time something clicked. My mood change wasn’t just about finishing a goal. It was about letting go and having the self-confidence to find my way. If I'm ever going to relax and enjoy life again, I need to calm down a bit. Beating myself up about past failures and breakdowns isn't going to do any good in the present. I think I’m finding I have more confidence lately, in salsa and other areas too, and am starting to restore faith in myself. “Always keep your feet under you,” our instructor said tonight. Stay grounded, but keep moving. It’s hard to face those other 24 goals wondering if I’ll have courage enough to finish them all, but as salsa has taught me, I just need to face the music and dance.
End notes: 1) When she's not swing-dancing, Rachel's rockin' the world of publishing in her blog: Trac-Changes. 2) Also, a fun list of types of dances. 3) Yes, I used another Sinatra song for my title. This may become a theme. Be forewarned.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
It's February Already?
I feel as though this year has already started off in a headlong rush, so I thought I’d take a breather and get down some of what’s been happening lately. I can’t quite check off any of my goals just yet, but I’ve started several of them. Here are the highlights:
1) Salsa Dancing. Our class is three sessions in, and I’m still loving it! It’s so much fun to meet people and get moving to some great music. I’m feeling more confident, even when I do get the steps wrong. Still haven’t stepped on anyone’s toes, though I came very close!
2) Wine Tasting. My lovely coworkers gave me a wine journal to help me start keeping track of wines as I try them. Tonight I made my first entry for a glass of Gewurtztraminer. I’m still not entirely sure of what I’m doing, but it’s nice to make notes and read up on things like aromas and flavors. Plus I now know how to pronounce the name of the wine – go me!
3) Time with friends. It’s been tough getting out and about lately because of the snow and ice, and I’m sad to say that there have been days when I’ve been too tired to do anything but sit on my couch in my pjs watching television or reading a book. But I have tried to stop that and my calendar for the next few weeks looks nice and busy – book clubs, birthday dinners, and all kinds of mayhem. I’ve also reconnected with an old friend of mine from middle school. What did we do before Facebook? Wait, don’t answer that….
4) Light Rail Buddies. I haven’t really made friends with anyone I commute with just yet, but I have talked to some of them. It usually involved the train not coming as we shivered on the platform with snow drifting down onto our heads. I’ve also run into my friend from college, David, on the train from time to time and that has also been a nice surprise. We didn’t realize that sometimes when I work later, we wind up on the same train.
5) Books. I made a decision to read 10 books outside of the ones I’ve read so far for book club, and to date I have read 2. First was Mark Rotella’s wonderful history of Italian Americans and their culture – Amore: The Story of Italian American Song. I loved it so much, mainly because I grew up with that music. It was not just the story of Italian singers, but of all Americans with Italian heritage. I could see my grandfather in those stories and for those 264 pages, it was like he was here with me again. That’s the power of good writing. The second book was also well-written: Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. I really enjoyed this novel of a circus vet that is told in the present (when he’s a 90+ year old man in a nursing home) as well as the past (when he first joined the circus). It’s very touching, especially the present day chapters. I read the whole thing in a week because I was so enthralled. I’m so excited to keep reading, too. I’ve got some of those books I mentioned in my earlier post coming up, as well as two more I got for my birthday: Julie & Julia and Film Club: A True Story of a Father and a Son.
6) And, drumroll please, I am going to a concert! I am so excited, I can hardly sit still. First, I should explain a bit about my music taste. Almost every singer or band I like have either retired, split up or died (most fall into the last group). So when I saw that Glen Campbell was not only out of retirement, but that he was finally touring in the US, I knew I had to see his concert. As fate and luck would have it, he is performing in Indianapolis this summer, and I am going. My friend Vanessa is coming with me, as is our friend Meghan, who lives out near Cincinnati. It’s going to be a great trip and a wonderful reunion! I know most people my age don’t know who Glen Campbell is, but gosh darn it, I’m thrilled and I’m going to enjoy it!
7) Upcoming Plans. I’ve been making a few plans for the near (or far) future too. I’ll probably go ice-skating soon, thanks to some coaxing from my friends. I’m also planning a roadtrip to a winery (that’s right, two goals in one!) and a trip to Ireland later this year. Sometime in February I also plan to have a writing weekend to myself where I just relax and focus on getting back into writing.
Looking through my list again, I realize that many of my goals are not quantifiable, so they cannot really be reached. I mean, how can I check something off my list like “Be Happy in My Work”? Although it’s been a stressful few weeks, I do feel a renewed energy this year towards my job and hope that I continue to stay on top of tasks and get more organized. Maybe at some point in the year I will feel more confident, and therefore happier with myself, in this role. These goals are all really just guidelines for how I want to spent this year and I think the only way I’ll get all 25 checked off the list is to sit back on New Year’s Eve and be able to say without reserve, “that was a very good year.”
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Hey there Cutes, put on your dancin' boots and -
Come Dance with Me!
This is what happens when Catherine allows me to write a blog post - you get Sinatra song lyrics in the title. A goal that we both have on our lists is to take a dance class, and this month we started beginners' salsa. It's held in a lovely place called Towson Dance Studio, and we are having a great time! There are a lot of very nice people there and we're learning quickly. Despite my usual clumsiness, so far I've managed not to step on anyone's toes or fall flat on my face. In time, I fear that dancing may prove to be a dangerous hobby as well, as I've found myself dancing while I'm brushing my teeth or fixing my coffee. I'm going to be a regular dance machine!
So although it's not technically "finished" yet, Goal #1 has been started! We'll keep you posted on the class and all the goals yet to come!
This is what happens when Catherine allows me to write a blog post - you get Sinatra song lyrics in the title. A goal that we both have on our lists is to take a dance class, and this month we started beginners' salsa. It's held in a lovely place called Towson Dance Studio, and we are having a great time! There are a lot of very nice people there and we're learning quickly. Despite my usual clumsiness, so far I've managed not to step on anyone's toes or fall flat on my face. In time, I fear that dancing may prove to be a dangerous hobby as well, as I've found myself dancing while I'm brushing my teeth or fixing my coffee. I'm going to be a regular dance machine!
So although it's not technically "finished" yet, Goal #1 has been started! We'll keep you posted on the class and all the goals yet to come!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Gearing Up
Catherine and I have been talking about what we're planning to do in January to get a good start on each of our lists. We're hoping to take a dance class, and I'm already planning more time with my friends and family. I'm also making a list of books I want to read in 2011. Every day I take the train to and from work. It's very convenient and gives me a good bit of time to myself, which I usually use to catch up on my reading. Like most people, I've got a stack of books I've been "meaning to get around to" on my shelf. One of my 25 goals is to read ten books of my own choosing that aren't among my book club selections. Here's a rough list of what I've got on my shelf:
The Stand by Stephen King
Bridge of Sighs by Richard Russo
Close-up on Sunset Boulevard: Billy Wilder, Norma Desmond, and the Dark Hollywood Dream by Sam Staggs
Amore: the Story of Italian American Song by Mark Rotello
Me: Stories of My Life by Katharine Hepburn
There will probably be other titles mixed in here, but I'm excited to dive in! Do you have any recommendations for other books that I should read? I can't say I'll get to them all, but I'd love to hear some ideas. Also, you should check out our friend Rachel's blog, Trac Changes, where she'll be chronicling her 2011 challenge to read five books from each of her ten categories. That's 50 books in one year. We wish her all the best!
It's almost a new year, which means it'll be time to officially launch this blog! Here's to 2011 - may it be a year filled with new adventures, old friends and a lot of happiness. Cheers!
The Stand by Stephen KingBridge of Sighs by Richard Russo
Close-up on Sunset Boulevard: Billy Wilder, Norma Desmond, and the Dark Hollywood Dream by Sam Staggs
Amore: the Story of Italian American Song by Mark Rotello
Me: Stories of My Life by Katharine Hepburn
Mohawk by Richard Russo
There will probably be other titles mixed in here, but I'm excited to dive in! Do you have any recommendations for other books that I should read? I can't say I'll get to them all, but I'd love to hear some ideas. Also, you should check out our friend Rachel's blog, Trac Changes, where she'll be chronicling her 2011 challenge to read five books from each of her ten categories. That's 50 books in one year. We wish her all the best!
It's almost a new year, which means it'll be time to officially launch this blog! Here's to 2011 - may it be a year filled with new adventures, old friends and a lot of happiness. Cheers!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Taking the Plunge
It seems that though we make resolutions every year, we often fail to keep them. To shake things up, we (Catherine and Amanda) are determined to not keep just one resolution this year, but 25 of them! Our birthdays are only about a month apart (December and January respectively), and we, as both friends and fellow writers, are determined to spend our 25th year doing 25 things we've always wanted to do but for which we've never made the time. We're not going for all-out adventures like climbing Mt. Everest or sky-diving, however; it's more about what we can feasibly do in our lives to grow as people and enjoy every minute of the year.
Amanda
When I was little, I thought that being 25 was a huge deal. Adults were 25. They made big decisions and led big, fulfilling lives with big responsibilities. And when you hit 30, man, you were old! But now that I'm treading on the cusp of my 25th year, I realize that it's just the beginning. I've been fortunate enough to do many wonderful things so far like go to college, get a job, and live on my own, but there's always that nagging in the back of my mind about what I've left undone. You all know that little voice - it has a habit of getting louder on long train rides spent looking out the window or during that time in the night when you can't sleep because the faucet's dripping and you just stare at your ceiling wondering where your life is going. Okay, that might only be me. I've always been the kind of person who sits back, watches the world pass by and wonders when my life will start. One terrifying night in college I jumped off a river pier into frigid water with some friends for what was supposed to be a fun dip, but instead I became paralyzed by the icy cold water and my own fear of drowning. But not everything turns out that way. While I'm not signing up for anything like skydiving or polar bear plunges, I have my own list of things I've always wanted to do but have not gotten around to doing yet. As overwhelming and somewhat daunting as it might seem, I'm not content to sit back and watch the world anymore - I'm ready to jump in, to tackle all those dreams and silly ideas that I've been putting off for far too long. Sink or swim, I know I have to get off the beach. My 25th year will be the best so far!
Catherine
The internet has taught me that being immortal would be a horrible, horrible thing, if only because science has apparently proven that our perception of time speeds up as we get older. That being said, my vague grasp of mathematics tells me that year twenty-five will be over before I know it, so I might as well do my best to (1) get a lot done and (2) chronicle every bit of it. I'm hoping 25 at 25 will help me with that, and that Amanda, my most favorite blogging buddy, will keep me on track so that I actually get around to doing this stuff. So while I don't expect to, say, jump out of a plane or anything quite as wild as that, I've pinpointed twenty-five things I would very much like to do this year, and I'm going to do as many as I can before I blink and find the year is already over. Fingers crossed!
We hope you'll enjoy our mad-cap adventures in 2011. Here's to a great 25!
Amanda
When I was little, I thought that being 25 was a huge deal. Adults were 25. They made big decisions and led big, fulfilling lives with big responsibilities. And when you hit 30, man, you were old! But now that I'm treading on the cusp of my 25th year, I realize that it's just the beginning. I've been fortunate enough to do many wonderful things so far like go to college, get a job, and live on my own, but there's always that nagging in the back of my mind about what I've left undone. You all know that little voice - it has a habit of getting louder on long train rides spent looking out the window or during that time in the night when you can't sleep because the faucet's dripping and you just stare at your ceiling wondering where your life is going. Okay, that might only be me. I've always been the kind of person who sits back, watches the world pass by and wonders when my life will start. One terrifying night in college I jumped off a river pier into frigid water with some friends for what was supposed to be a fun dip, but instead I became paralyzed by the icy cold water and my own fear of drowning. But not everything turns out that way. While I'm not signing up for anything like skydiving or polar bear plunges, I have my own list of things I've always wanted to do but have not gotten around to doing yet. As overwhelming and somewhat daunting as it might seem, I'm not content to sit back and watch the world anymore - I'm ready to jump in, to tackle all those dreams and silly ideas that I've been putting off for far too long. Sink or swim, I know I have to get off the beach. My 25th year will be the best so far!
Catherine
The internet has taught me that being immortal would be a horrible, horrible thing, if only because science has apparently proven that our perception of time speeds up as we get older. That being said, my vague grasp of mathematics tells me that year twenty-five will be over before I know it, so I might as well do my best to (1) get a lot done and (2) chronicle every bit of it. I'm hoping 25 at 25 will help me with that, and that Amanda, my most favorite blogging buddy, will keep me on track so that I actually get around to doing this stuff. So while I don't expect to, say, jump out of a plane or anything quite as wild as that, I've pinpointed twenty-five things I would very much like to do this year, and I'm going to do as many as I can before I blink and find the year is already over. Fingers crossed!
We hope you'll enjoy our mad-cap adventures in 2011. Here's to a great 25!
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